There’s no lack of reviews of dead games on this site. Deceive Inc is on life support. Crowfall went offline for “future planning” multiple years ago at this point. Crimesight wasn’t a live service game, but got taken offline anyway, because the world is stupid.
Glitch is a little different than those games because it went offline almost 13 years ago. It was a weird little browser MMO with (almost) no combat, and a sort of friendly Hieronymus Bosch vibe. You hatched pigs from eggs, which you grew on eggplant trees, and stumbled around the dreams of giants.
But that’s not what really separated Glitch from all of those other games. What separates Glitch is its long term impact on the world. Not via its mechanics, gameplay, design, or aesthetics, but because while Glitch was being made, its creators also made an internal communication tool for the project.
That was tool was called Slack.
I don’t know if there’s actually some sort of deep irony in one of the few attempts to build a really weird, interesting, peaceful MMO led to the creation of one of the most bland pieces of business software ever to exist. Something about it seems a bit bullshit.
Still, when so many live-service games just vanish and die, it’s nice to see that Glitch has some form of legacy, even if its legacy is completely disconnected from the game itself.
As I found myself being forced to use Slack this morning, I also found myself thinking back to Glitch: to weird landscapes, trying to grow trees, and fights with crows. To a smaller, nicer thing, that not enough people (including me!) paid for, and it died.
I had a busy weekend. I played a lot of Deadlock, I lost horribly at a Magic draft, and I fixed a lot of technology for one of my parents. I got absolutely none of the work I had hoped to do done, but I did get a chance to try out the One Piece Card Game.
Yes, it really is capitalized like that.
Wait, what’s One Piece?
One Piece is a manga series that’s been running since 1997, which is to say it’s only slightly younger than me. I could say a lot of things about it, but they’re not relevant to this review. All you really need to know is that it’s an adventure series, it’s been running for an incredibly long time, and… I quite like it.
No really, I’ve been reading this series on and off for probably close to 20 years. I check weekly for updates. Thinking about it, One Piece and Pokemon are probably the two longest-running franchises I have interest in.
So, a card game (I like those!) based on a manga (specifically a series that I really enjoy). I should love this right?
Right?
The Gameplay
Well, I love the gameplay at least, even from my limited exposure yesterday. There’s a bunch of cool systems here, and I’m going to try to hit the highlights.
First up, like all modern card games, One Piece CG sets out to solve the land problem. But it does so in a different way than some of its peers. You have a side deck of 10 DON cards. Then, each turn after the first, you flip out 2 of the them, and that’s the whole resource system.
In addition to being tapped for mana, DON can also be put onto your Character and Leader cards to temporarily buff them on your turn. I liked this, because it meant I felt like I always had something to do with my resources.
Other neat systems include the game’s life tracking. This is effectively Pokemon’s prize card system, but reversed to become a catch-up mechanic. Short version: when you take damage to your life, you get cards. I like it.
Combat also has combat tricks, and they’re done in a way that doesn’t require me explaining the stack to someone, while also making a vast number of cards multi-modal. I liked that as well. Combat is also a bit different from other games, but not in anyway that I feel compelled to elaborate. It provides lots of interesting choices, and I like it.
So. Bunch of great systems
The Things I don’t like
Let’s imagine there’s a Harry Potter TCG. Let’s imagine it’s very popular, and while we’re imagining things, let imagine JK Rowling isn’t a massive TERF.
I know, I’m asking you to imagine a lot.
But while we’re in this beautiful alternate universe, let’s say that one of the sets is based on book 6. Imagine it’s called “Snape Kills Dumbledore,” and the cover art is a great big picture of Snape blasting Dumbledore with Avada Kadavra.
That would feel kind of odd, right? Kind of spoilery?
This is something the One Piece TCG does. Absolutely huge plot points are just… completely spoiled/revealed in the names and designs of the sets? And the cards?
I dunno. It just feels weird.
There’s a bunch of other things that add to that weirdness, at least for me. I consider myself a One Piece fan, but I’m purely a fan of the manga. One of the decks that I played (And enjoyed playing!) was based around characters from a spin-off video game. A video game that reviewed quite badly.
I love One Piece as a manga, because of stuff like this.
Not 3D models that look like this.
Also, two other minor annoyances.
Some of these card names are ridiculous.
Like, I’m sorry. What?
2. Many of the cards have character names displayed in the standard Japanese way, which is to say family name and then given name. The problem I have with this is that there is at least one archetype (Vinsmokes) where this makes it a bit of a pain to actually read and process the cards. This is minor, I’m sure I’d get used to it if I played enough, but it feels unnecessary to include the full family name because it’s also irrelevant to the mechanics of the game?
I dunno. Please don’t take this as me being culturally insensitive. But I’m just… frustrated by design decisions that while authentic, make the game harder to play.
Also, while this is just a hunch, and playing a few games of a TCG isn’t enough to really get a good read on something like this, I kind of dislike that the game seems to be following archetype-based design as opposed to color based design. It’s just a vibe, but it’s still there.
Overall
Much like with Star Wars Unlimited, I actually think these systems are great, but I’m a bit turned off by the theming. Which is weird, because I like One Piece and I don’t give a shit about Star Wars.
It feels weird to say that I’d excitedly play more One Piece, but have zero intention of picking up any decks or cards? Especially at some of the prices I’m seeing, like, $50 for the non-basic starter deck? I’m good.
Something I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned on this blog is that I love pinball. At the same time, I’m also bad enough at pinball that I’ve never really considered reviewing a table.
That said, my brother has gotten really into pinball over the last few months, so when he invited me down to Capital Pinball in Concord NH, I jumped at the chance to hang out and spend the day just playing a bunch of different tables.
Price: $15 per person per day, no additional fee for any table. $50 for a monthly membership. (I believe members have 24 hour access to the venue, with the expectation of being good stewards of the space.)
Hours: Fridays 6pm-10pm and Publicly Posted events Note: It’s probably a good idea to double check the hours!
The Venue
Capital Pinball is perhaps the only pinball place I’ve ever been to that I’d describe as cozy. The building it’s located in feels like a Phasmaphobia map, or maybe HL2’s Nova Prospect. Despite that, the actual room for Capital Pinball is lovely, with a few comfy chairs, and a set of fairy lights strung around the room so that games can be played without glare.
Of course, someplace like that is still only going to be as good as the tables. Fortunately for me, all of the tables are great.
The Tables
Despite not having my personal favorite table (Medieval Madness), I got a chance to play on a bunch of great ones, including my second favorite, Attack from Mars. I like Attack from Mars as a table mostly for how simple it is, being maybe the only self explanatory table I know of.
Attack from Mars was also one of the only two older tables I played while at Capital Pinball, the other being Theatre of Magic.
Most of our time was instead spent on more modern tables, including a Jurassic Park table which I don’t have the exact model of, and Dungeons and Dragons: The Tyrant’s Eye.
The D&D table is actually quite interesting to me, mostly for the ability save your character and campaign progression between games via a phone app. It’s an interesting feature, and while I don’t actually enjoy the table as much as others, I do find it really interesting from a gameplay perspective.
The other two tables we played a bunch of were Jaws, and Avengers: Infinity Quest. While I was a bit leery of Avengers because of the license, it actually turned out be a great table, and I’d like to play it more. I’m more lukewarm on Jaws, not because I think it’s bad, but because I had a hard time parsing what I was supposed to be doing.
Of course, this is less than half of the total number of tables available.
Overall
Capital Pinball was great, and I’d definitely go back. I don’t know that I’d want to go at a particularly busy time, where it might end up feeling a bit cramped, but it was awesome to just to get to grind attempt after attempt on all of these tables, and I’ll probably try to convince a few more friends to come down with me next time.
P.S. My brother tried to start a new game before I could take this photo of me kicking his ass at Attack from Mars, but I got it anyway.
I think Tales of Kenzera is a good game. A solid 8/10. I want to put that out there because I have no idea where the rest of this writeup is going, so I’m going to mention that early.
It’s also on sale for $8 until the 11th, which feels like a pretty decent deal if you’re looking for something to play through just to get back into the swing of things.
Why do I have no idea where the rest of this writeup is going? Well, because there are a billion different lenses I could take to look at Tales of Kenzera, but none of them feel like they have enough depth.
For example, the entire reason I bought this game wasn’t because I wanted a mid-range Metroidvania carried more by its combat than its exploration. I bought it because it was pissing of a bunch of racists, and won a few awards. So maybe there’s a culture war thing going on?
No. There really isn’t. There’re no “woke” themes or ideas. There’s just black people. Because the game is set in Africa, and is inspired by Bantu legends. Okay, so maybe there’s an interesting lens there. Can I look at how the game reflects the stories it’s based on?
Well, again, that’s kind of a “No”, because the “Bantu peoples” are made up of 400+ distinct groups, and 350 million people. It’s true that I once read Atlas Shrugged so that could I understand Bioshock better, but I don’t even know where I’d start in this case.
So maybe I’ll just try to talk about the gameplay, and be content with that.
Gameplay
Tales of Kenzera is a light Metroidvania. It’s also a fairly short game. Based on the in-game clock, I 100%’ed the game on challenging (second hardest difficulty) in about 8 hours.
As a Metroidvania, I give it mixed marks on the puzzle platforming. Extra exploration is useful for grabbing upgrades, but never necessary. More importantly, side areas with upgrades or paths are almost never actually locked off. Instead, they tend to be unlocked with whatever power you got in that zone. The platforming itself, even in the challenge zones, is also not particularly hard, and only ever frustrating.
So how about the combat? Well, the combat is great!
Okay, I have a few caveats. Let’s talk about it.
Tales of Kenzera’s core gimmick is the ability to switch between a fire and an ice mask. Fire is melee, ice is ranged. Fire gets heavy attacks with knockup and light attacks that chain, while ice gets a ranged attack and one that can deflect projectiles. For the first third of the game, that’s pretty much it.
Except then you get the grappling hook, which changes functionality based on the mask you’re wearing. Fire mask lets you pull yourself to enemies, ice lets you pull enemies to you. This was where everything clicked for me. All of a sudden I could just throw myself into the air at flying enemies, or pull ranged enemies over pits of spikes.
Then you get a charge blast: effectively, a third jump that can be angled, and suddenly combat is a kinetic, joyful brawl. It’s at this point, the game goes from good to great, as you pinball around, launching off enemies, smashing into them, and just generally having a good time.
It’s just a shame that this happens after it seems like most people have stopped playing.
Not all the combat is great. The bosses, while interesting as spectacles, feel quite wonky. The final boss is especially janky, but the first and third are just a ton of fun.
Grab Bag
The credits are a full on 15-ish minutes, of which 57 seconds are the actual dev team for the game. It feels weird. Also, they list the translators last at like 11 minutes, which feels like another kick in the balls for folks who did real work.
There’s a weird tone of EA-ification present as well. Things like too many trademark symbols that feel unnecessary, and tutorials that feel a bit much at times.
The final secret unlock is big head mode? For some reason? Not sure if it’s a cool throwback, or they ran out of time to give a better reward.
Overall
It might sound like I’m a bit harsh on the game, and I kind of am? But the thing is, even after finishing the game, I found myself going back to finish the rest of the optional challenges, and just 100% the whole thing. And for at least of a moment of that, it was because I wanted to fight more enemies. I wanted to play more!
I don’t think there’s a higher recommendation I can give than that.
